For the past five years, I’ve taught principles and practices that give shape to the Christian ministry of spiritual direction. Spiritual direction is a historic ministry of the Christian church where one person (sometimes called a spiritual director) walks alongside a sister or brother in Christ (sometimes called the directee) as they seek to discern God’s presence and activity in their life. Spiritual direction is a process of prayerful conversation. This ministry requires spiritual maturity on the part of the director and a call to spiritual work on the part of the directee. It involves compassionate listening, the gift of attention, discernment, good and God-honoring questions, and an openness to God’s leading. God is, in the end, the true spiritual director.
My training in the ministry of spiritual direction began in 2013. I received a certification in spiritual direction in 2015. That means I have been practicing this mode of ministry for over a decade. When I began work at Baylor’s Truett Seminary, I became a supervisor in our Spiritual Direction Training Program. This role helped me think about my experiences as a spiritual director in a new way, from the viewpoint of a teacher, not only that of a practitioner.
As I’ve talked with others who are learning this mode of ministry, I’ve arrived at a conversational model for spiritual direction. This model is based on my approach and experiences. When someone meets with me for spiritual direction, we 1) begin with courtesy and friendliness, 2) transition to prayer, 3) seek God during a process of discernment, 4) clarify God’s communication in light of what has been shared, 5) discern how to pray in response, 6) pray, and 7) send forth with blessing and encouragement.
The spiritual director and the directee each take on their respective roles in undertaking shared spiritual work. And the process itself can take the shape of a funnel.
Above, you’ll notice the spiritual director on the left and the directee on the right. In between is the conversation that will be shared. The spheres represent points of focus or topics of conversation, matters that are brought forth for discernment.
In offering the ministry of spiritual direction, the director assumes a compassionate, loving, and prayerful presence. They are a spiritually mature person who loves God, and they desire to see others grow in intimacy with God. They do not bring an agenda. In so far as they direct, they seek to maintain attention on God. The director seeks to pay attention to God. The director also hopes the directee will be attentive to God, and through listening, noticing, and good questions, they seek to help the directee do just that.
The directee brings their experiences. These experiences may concern people, thoughts, feelings, or stories that seem significant to them, and could be of significance in their relationship to God. As a person begins direction, many experiences may seem to be relevant at any given time, or none at all. The directee may begin with what is most fresh on their mind. But as they learn to be attentive to God, it may be that they become more clear on which aspects of their experiences in life are in most need of tending in the light of God’s love and care. In the illustration above, there are five spheres, representing five possibilities. Some directees may bring more than five possibilities, some less. And some, on certain occasions, may bring just one.
The director invites the directee into a time of prayer. This time of prayer could include a reading from Scripture, a moment to be still, or a period of silence. During this time of prayer, the directee is invited to seek God. They may notice an experience they have brought arises and seems to require attention. They may sense that God is directing their recollections and thoughts. They may not be sure. It may begin as a suspicion this experience or set of experiences could be the thing God desires for them to consider. Discovery may not occur until they begin. As the directee tells of what they perceive, the director listens patiently and compassionately, interceding for their sister or brother and attending to the Holy Spirit.
As the directee unfolds their experience, they attempt to discern exactly how, and exactly what, God is up to in their lives. They share their story. They seek God. They pick up on Spirit-issued invitations. They make spiritual connections, growing in knowledge of God and in knowledge of self. They consider how they are living, and how they are being called to live. They may be moved to confess sin or practice repentance. They may feel unburdened as they share struggles. They may find that God loves them more than they suspected. They may sense that they are being instructed to take action as God’s agent.
These discoveries take place while in the presence of the spiritual director. The spiritual director helps by praying, listening, by combining the two as prayerful listening, by noticing what seems significant, by asking questions that invite deeper reflection, and by offering the ministry of encouragement.
Both directee and director seek to discern the presence and activity of God.
After this period of sharing, seeking, contemplation and connection, there comes a moment of discernment. The director asks the directee to try and identify God’s invitation. The directee, having articulated their sense of God’s movements, prayerfully considers their response. They may feel called to do something. They may see a need for transformation in character. They may need to open themselves to God’s grace. They might not know exactly what God wants them to do, be, or receive, but they may know what to hang on to and continue praying about. I call these “ongoing matters for discernment.”
The spiritual director then creates space for intercessory prayer. They ask, “In light of what you are sensing, how can we pray?” The “we” is important here. The director may offer the prayer. The directee may offer the prayer. Both are praying together about the invitation the directee has discerned. As a spiritual director, I’m glad to be an intercessor. But sometimes, the most helpful thing is to invite the directee to pray with their own words.
The directee then enters the shared space for intercessory prayer. Director and directee address God. When the spiritual direction conversation concludes, the directee seeks to live in response to God, to proceed faithfully in light of the encounter.
Spiritual direction, like all Christian ministry, depends on the gracious movement of God. Forms are tools. People are participants. Growth is God’s.
