Author: Benjamin A. Simpson

A Conversational Model for Spiritual Direction

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

For the past five years, I’ve taught principles and practices that give shape to the Christian ministry of spiritual direction. Spiritual direction is a historic ministry of the Christian church where one person (sometimes called a spiritual director) walks alongside a sister or brother in Christ (sometimes called the directee) as they seek to discern God’s presence and activity in their life. Spiritual direction is a process of prayerful conversation. This ministry requires spiritual maturity on the part of the director and a call to spiritual work on the part of the directee. It involves compassionate listening, the gift of attention, discernment, good and God-honoring questions, and an openness to God’s leading. God is, in the end, the true spiritual director.

My training in the ministry of spiritual direction began in 2013. I received a certification in spiritual direction in 2015. That means I have been practicing this mode of ministry for over a decade. When I began work at Baylor’s Truett Seminary, I became a supervisor in our Spiritual Direction Training Program. This role helped me think about my experiences as a spiritual director in a new way, from the viewpoint of a teacher, not only that of a practitioner.

As I’ve talked with others who are learning this mode of ministry, I’ve arrived at a conversational model for spiritual direction. This model is based on my approach and experiences. When someone meets with me for spiritual direction, we 1) begin with courtesy and friendliness, 2) transition to prayer, 3) seek God during a process of discernment, 4) clarify God’s communication in light of what has been shared, 5) discern how to pray in response, 6) pray, and 7) send forth with blessing and encouragement.

The spiritual director and the directee each take on their respective roles in undertaking shared spiritual work. And the process itself can take the shape of a funnel.

A Conversational Model for Spiritual Direction

Above, you’ll notice the spiritual director on the left and the directee on the right. In between is the conversation that will be shared. The spheres represent points of focus or topics of conversation, matters that are brought forth for discernment.

In offering the ministry of spiritual direction, the director assumes a compassionate, loving, and prayerful presence. They are a spiritually mature person who loves God, and they desire to see others grow in intimacy with God. They do not bring an agenda. In so far as they direct, they seek to maintain attention on God. The director seeks to pay attention to God. The director also hopes the directee will be attentive to God, and through listening, noticing, and good questions, they seek to help the directee do just that.

The directee brings their experiences. These experiences may concern people, thoughts, feelings, or stories that seem significant to them, and could be of significance in their relationship to God. As a person begins direction, many experiences may seem to be relevant at any given time, or none at all. The directee may begin with what is most fresh on their mind. But as they learn to be attentive to God, it may be that they become more clear on which aspects of their experiences in life are in most need of tending in the light of God’s love and care. In the illustration above, there are five spheres, representing five possibilities. Some directees may bring more than five possibilities, some less. And some, on certain occasions, may bring just one.

The director invites the directee into a time of prayer. This time of prayer could include a reading from Scripture, a moment to be still, or a period of silence. During this time of prayer, the directee is invited to seek God. They may notice an experience they have brought arises and seems to require attention. They may sense that God is directing their recollections and thoughts. They may not be sure. It may begin as a suspicion this experience or set of experiences could be the thing God desires for them to consider. Discovery may not occur until they begin. As the directee tells of what they perceive, the director listens patiently and compassionately, interceding for their sister or brother and attending to the Holy Spirit.

As the directee unfolds their experience, they attempt to discern exactly how, and exactly what, God is up to in their lives. They share their story. They seek God. They pick up on Spirit-issued invitations. They make spiritual connections, growing in knowledge of God and in knowledge of self. They consider how they are living, and how they are being called to live. They may be moved to confess sin or practice repentance. They may feel unburdened as they share struggles. They may find that God loves them more than they suspected. They may sense that they are being instructed to take action as God’s agent.

These discoveries take place while in the presence of the spiritual director. The spiritual director helps by praying, listening, by combining the two as prayerful listening, by noticing what seems significant, by asking questions that invite deeper reflection, and by offering the ministry of encouragement.

Both directee and director seek to discern the presence and activity of God.

After this period of sharing, seeking, contemplation and connection, there comes a moment of discernment. The director asks the directee to try and identify God’s invitation. The directee, having articulated their sense of God’s movements, prayerfully considers their response. They may feel called to do something. They may see a need for transformation in character. They may need to open themselves to God’s grace. They might not know exactly what God wants them to do, be, or receive, but they may know what to hang on to and continue praying about. I call these “ongoing matters for discernment.”

The spiritual director then creates space for intercessory prayer. They ask, “In light of what you are sensing, how can we pray?” The “we” is important here. The director may offer the prayer. The directee may offer the prayer. Both are praying together about the invitation the directee has discerned. As a spiritual director, I’m glad to be an intercessor. But sometimes, the most helpful thing is to invite the directee to pray with their own words.

The directee then enters the shared space for intercessory prayer. Director and directee address God. When the spiritual direction conversation concludes, the directee seeks to live in response to God, to proceed faithfully in light of the encounter.

Spiritual direction, like all Christian ministry, depends on the gracious movement of God. Forms are tools. People are participants. Growth is God’s.

Shifting Gears

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“Baseball is for watching. From April to October I watch the Red Sox every night. (Other sports fill the darker months.) I do not write; I do not work at all. After supper I become the American male — but I think I do something else. Try to forgive my comparisons, but before Yeats went to sleep every night he read an American Western. When Eliot was done with poetry and editing, he read a mystery book. Everyone who concentrates all day, in the evening needs to let the half-wit out for a walk. Sometimes it is Zane Grey, sometimes Agatha Christie, sometimes the Red Sox.”

Donald Hall, cited here

I’m in “knowledge work,” meaning I work with ideas and read ideas and think about ideas and write about ideas and talk about ideas all day long. My work is thought work. I think before I’m on the clock and I think after I’m off the clock. I also think while I’m on the clock. Thinking takes place in meetings, sometimes in a journal, other times in a Word document, too often in email or on Teams, enjoyably so when according to schedule in a classroom with engaged students, periodically while on the phone, very occasionally from a pulpit, and most often in passing conversations. My area is Christian spirituality, Christian spiritual formation, ministry practice, and church leadership. I’m living this stuff, even when I’m not working on this stuff.

The product or result of this kind of work can be difficult to quantify. Sometimes the product is concrete, such as a paper or an article, even a blog post. Sometimes it is concrete but difficult to measure in terms of quality or effectiveness, such as a sermon or a lesson. A colleague, Elizabeth Shively, tells the story of a pastor who, after preaching, responded to congregants who told him “good sermon today” with the witty reply, “it is probably too soon to tell.”

What I want to remember here, and what I want to share, is that thinking takes a lot of energy, and when energy is expended, it can’t be renewed without rest. Thinking can be quite intense. As Donald Hall observes, there is a need to shift gears after long periods of concentration. We need to take a break. Our minds need to wander, to relax, to engage with something different. An activity like walking can help us get out of our head and back into our bodies. Hall writes that we need to let the half-wit out for a walk after a day of concentration. This can take the form of reading mysteries or Westerns or watching sports. It can also take the form of a literal walk.

Hall’s renewal activity of preference was watching baseball. I go with movies and television, and reading stuff other than theology, biblical studies, and practical ministry books. I like action movies and science fiction. I like watching the English Premier League. I don’t have the same attachment to soccer as I do the major American sports, where I get wrapped up in fan allegiances to the Cowboys, Rangers, Mavericks, Royals, or Chiefs. I watch stand-up comedy or listen to a podcast that make me laugh. I go on walks. I exercise. Sometimes I work in the yard or clean the pool.

But honestly, when I do the fun stuff–the gear shifting, refreshing, relaxing, renewing stuff–I can feel guilty about it. I think I should be doing more, you know, work. It doesn’t help that as soon as I’m done with one thing, I’m on to the next thing. Once I scale one mountain peak, my eyes are on the next one. Without fully appreciating the view from the top, and having not yet completed or even begun the descent, I’m already planning the next climb.

There are a couple of spiritual disciplines that apply here. One is sabbath keeping. Another is celebration. A third is confession.

A family commitment we’ve articulated together concerns establishing sustainable rhythms of work and rest. I’m working on routines and rhythms that help me identify my most important priorities and projects and establishing timelines for completion that are reasonable and realistic. When I say I’m working on them, I mean I’ve been working on them for the duration of my adult life. Now in my forties, I’m working on them with greater intention and clarity than even before. I want to work at a human pace. These processes are always being fine-tuned and refined, even as I make adjustments that are bringing me closer to where I want to be. But life is in flux. The moment I’m dialed in, something changes.

Recent initiatives: I’ve built in time each week to assess what I’ve gotten done so I can celebrate and what I can calendar time to work on in the week ahead. Beyond weekly plans, I’ve added a monthly plan, widening the time scale so that I can think about the things that would make me most happy to finish over a longer period. Stuff that comes up that is new and that I know I can’t get to immediately I place under a “future” heading. These are projects that are interesting and could be important but are not urgent. I clean up this list every month, promoting some projects to active, and deleting others altogether, having determined some things are not mine to do or were just passing fancies.

A growth area, I think, is formalizing my shut down rituals, actively putting aside “work” and formally closing down the shop for the day. I’ve got some ideas that I think will help, like shutting off my computer in the evenings, establishing a routine window of time during the week to turn my phone off, and choosing to shift gears in a way that names the change of focus, allowing for enjoyment, guilt free.

When it is the time for working, I work. When it is time to cease, I need to learn to celebrate and release. More work will always be waiting in the morning. I want to enjoy the downshift, and not burn out the engine.

Review: The Action Bible – Faith in Action Edition (with Giveaway!)

When I was in elementary school, a member of my family bought me a Picture Bible they saw advertised on television. The printing was right out of the comic book pages, mixing magenta, cyan, and yellow, portraying the major stories of the Bible. The dialogue was abbreviated. It did not include every story and detail from a full translation of the Bible. But it got me thinking about the biblical stories. It familiarized me with the overall arc of the Bible. It better acquainted me with many of the people, both men and women, who appear in Scripture.

Now, I’m a parent. I have children. I want them to read. I want them to know the stories of the Bible. I’ve shared my Picture Bible with them. After all these years, it is falling apart. I was glad to be able to hand one of my children this edition of The Action Bible. It is way cooler, and more easily engages them.

The Faith in Action Edition of The Action Bible is organized according to Scripture’s traditional ordering. It begins in Genesis and ends with a very brief depiction from Revelation. In between, you find narrative. There are seven major category groupings for the stories within: Courage, Faith, Hope, Love, Service, Trust, and Wisdom. These are color coded and are part of each narrative heading, which not only titles the story (“Facing the Heat” for the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and the Fiery Furnace; “On Trial” for the story of Jesus before the Caiaphas). The headings also include the relevant Scripture passages.

Each story includes a QR code (and sometimes more than one) which can be scanned for additional devotional and study resources.

This is a great resource to engage young readers and start conversations about the Bible, God, and what it means to live by faith.

* I received a copy of The Action Bible: Faith in Action Edition in exchange for an honest review. If you’d like a chance to win a copy, leave a comment. You’ll need to complete the form so that I have an associated email address. I’ll select a winner at random this Saturday.

“What More Could He Have Done for You?”

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

Author and speaker Brennan Manning has an amazing story about how he got the name “Brennan.” While growing up, his best friend was Ray. The two of them did everything together: bought a new car together as teenagers, double-dated together, went to school together and so forth. They even enlisted in the Army together, went to boot camp together and fought on the frontlines together. One night while sitting in a foxhole, Brennan was reminiscing about the old days in Brooklyn while Ray listened and ate a chocolate bar. Suddenly a live grenade came into the foxhole. Ray looked a Brennan, smiled, dropped his chocolate bar and threw himself on the live grenade. It exploded, killing Ray, but Brennan’s life was spared.

When Brennan became a priest he was instructed to take on the name of a saint. He thought of his friend, Ray Brennan. So he took on the name Brennan. Years later he went to visit Ray’s mother in Brooklyn. They sat up late one night having tea when Brennan asked her, “Do you think Ray loved me?” Mrs. Brennan got up off the couch, shook her finger in front of Brennan’s face and shouted, “Jesus Christ–what more could he have done for you?!” Brennan said that at that moment he experienced an epiphany. He imagined himself standing before the cross of Jesus wondering, Does God really love me? and Jesus’ mother Mary pointing to her son, saying, “Jesus Christ–what more could he have done for you?”

The cross of Jesus is God’s way of doing all he could do for us. And yet we often wonder, Does God really love me? Am I important to God? Does God care about me? And Jesus’ mother responds, “What more could he have done for you?”

James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful God: Falling in Love with the God Jesus Knows, p. 142-143

Today is Ash Wednesday. It is also St. Valentine’s Day.

You may be wondering if you are loved. You are. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Ash Wednesday is a day of repentance, a day to be reminded of our frailty, mortality, and failures. But it is also a day of love. It is a day we are marked with a cross. It is a day we are reminded of the cross of Christ, who came in weakness to give us strength, who took on mortality to give us immortality, and who took our sin and failure upon himself in order to extend to us the gifts of restoration, forgiveness, and fellowship with God.

We have been embraced by way of a costly love. What more could he have done for you?

To Try: Speaking Aloud to God

In The Secret of Guidance, F. B. Myer states, “it is well to acquire the habit of speaking to God as to a present friends while sitting in the house or walking by the way. Seek the habit of talking things over with God–letters, your plans, your hopes, your mistakes, your sorrows and sins.”

Having begun as a child in my earliest efforts at prayer with simple, spoken petitions, I later moved to prayer in silence, confining my conversation with God to the realm of thought and movements of the heart–unless I was leading a group. Silent prayer was beneficial yet difficult, as I often found myself easily distracted. As I continued in leadership, I found that spoken prayer came with greater ease, joy, and a fuller sense of God’s presence. Praying with others, aloud, made me glad. But I only spoke with God aloud while with others, not when I was alone, as Myer recommends.

I’ve been experimenting with this suggestion, speaking aloud to God. Most often, I have done this while on a walk in my neighborhood, alone. That seems to be the best place, and the best time. After suggesting that we speak to God aloud, Myer counsels, “Not perhaps always, because our desires are often too sacred or too deep to be put into words.” Silent prayer can be appropriate. Spoken prayer, also, may be more suitable in certain settings. Discernment is needed.

Myer also notes that when we talk to God about everyday concerns, “Things look very different when brought into the calm light of His presence.” I have found that speaking with God, aloud, does change my perspective. I notice how I’m phrasing things. I’m hearing what I am saying even as I form the words. I’m more mindful of who I’m speaking to, more patient in the silences, more open to hearing a response. There is a movement in me.

Try it. See what happens.

What do you notice? What changes in how you speak, and in how you listen?