Tag: presence

The Gift of Patient Presence in Discipleship: Do This, Not That

Photo by Roman Synkevych 🇺🇦 on Unsplash

He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.  As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

Mark 4:26-29

Dallas Willard, on this passage:

Here’s what I found out years ago, and if I hadn’t I would’ve been out of the business thirty or forty years ago, and it’s this: you don’t have to make it happen. The little parable that Jesus tells in Mark about the farmer that goes out and sows seed and then takes a nap? There is a little phrase in there that says, “The farmer knoweth not how this works.” There’s a plant coming up out of the dirt, and pretty soon there’s something edible there. But although the farmer doesn’t know how it happens, you can be sure it’s going to happen, and that takes the load off of you. You don’t have to make this happen. This is one of the most important things for pastors to understand. Don’t try to get people to do anything; just speak the word of the gospel, live as a disciple, lovingly teach, be with people, and it will happen.

“The Gospel of the Kingdom” an interview with Keith Giles, in Renewing the Christian Mind, p. 226.

The other day I was part of a discussion about the felt need to “do” something in ministry moments where the person we are with is stuck. Our friend is disappointed with God, the divine will is opaque, they are confused with what is next, or they are flummoxed due to relationship difficulties.

We want to say the right thing, fix the problem, offer sound advice, provide good counsel, quote the right Bible verse, dispense sage wisdom, or prescribe the right action. But sometimes, we don’t need to do anything other than listen, be present, and pray. God is “doing” all that needs to be done, and we are watching and waiting for God to reveal, act, and direct accordingly. As a minister, it is important to remember that you are not the only actor. God may be hidden, but God is present, and God is most assuredly working.

Notice there is something to be done. Rather than tell or solve, however, we sow, rest, and then see what comes up. We then harvest at the right moment. As Willard says, “Don’t try to get people to do anything; just speak the word of the gospel, live as a disciple, lovingly teach, be with people, and it will happen.” We do what is ours to do. But we don’t have to make anything happen. That is God’s business.

Screaming at a seed does not cause it to sprout. It will do that on its own, in its own time, as God appoints. It will happen.

iPhone Addiction

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

I’d rather be addicted to this than addicted to a phone. But sadly I’m showing the signs.

What are the symptoms of phone addiction? Read:

  • Using your cell phone for longer than initially intended
  • Spending a great deal of time using and recovering from excess cell phone use
  • Inability to cut down or control cell phone use despite trying to do so
  • Urges or “cravings” to be on your cell phone
  • Using your cell phone in situations that make it physically hazardous, such as texting while driving
  • Continued cell phone use despite adverse physical or psychological consequences of use
  • Withdrawal symptoms when not using your cell phones, such as restlessness, anxiety, and anger
  • Feelings of panic or anxiety about losing your cell phone
  • Feelings of irritability, anxiety, stress, and other mood changes when unable to respond to or receive messages
  • Checking your cell phone obsessively for emails, calls, and texts
  • Using your cell phone in inappropriate places like church or the restroom
  • Missing out on social opportunities and face-to-face interactions so you can use your cell phone
  • Loss of interest in favorite or long-held hobbies and activities
  • Frequent and constant checking of a phone within very brief periods of time
  • Using your cell phone frequently to achieve satisfaction and relaxation, or to counteract negative moods
  • Thinking you may have heard your cell phone ring or felt it vibrate when it hasn’t

I carry my phone everywhere, check it too often, use it to cope with boredom, and fall down too many rabbit holes. It’s my camera, my radio, my encyclopedia, my news source, and my direct line to friends (and strangers).

Here’s a few fun stats:

– The typical cell phone user touches his or her phone 2,617 times every day. 2,617 times!

– Most people, on average, spend 3 hours and 15 minutes on their phones each day.

– Half of all phone pickups happen within 3 minutes of a previous one.

Joshua Becker, Seven Proven Ways to Break Your Cell Phone Addiction

I was reading John Mark Comer’s book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and he mentioned in passing that setting your phone to grayscale could help you break the addictive habit of checking it impulsively, so I’ve given it a run. This Wired article tells you how to do it.

I also deleted Instagram from my phone after installing it shortly after the start of the pandemic, and I’ve kept to my rule of having no more than one screen with which to interact (no swiping). My main application use is for listening to podcasts, tracking nutrition, staying disciplined with fasting, and for phone and text. I haven’t had an email app on my phone in years. I keep notifications off. That decision made me a happier person. Most of the time my phone is in “do not disturb” mode.

So much of life is being present, aware, and focused. Cell phones are energy-takers. Social media applications are designed to consume more and more of your time. And most of what I can do on a phone I can do on my browser, at a computer, when I sit down to work.

Thus far, the change is working. But I still have more paring down to do. The goal is a simpler life. Less stress. More room for the expansiveness of thought, creativity, and soul.