I made a third appearance in the Letters section of the local paper today. You can read my thoughts here, composed in response to this opinion piece by Bruce Wells on the Ten Commandments, first appearing in the print edition of the Waco Tribune-Herald on February 1, 2019. I disagreed with Wells, believing he skirted the key issues, namely religious freedom and free exercise and expression, and misrepresented the Bible and the convictions of the religious communities who include the Ten Commandments in their sacred texts.
We live according to our values and priorities, and, as Greg McKeon has observed, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”
Our family has a list of values. They are:
- Joy, Celebration, and Fun.
- Strong, Healthy Bodies.
- Creative Expression and Intellectual Pursuit.
- Appreciation of the Natural World.
How do we know when we’re living according to our values? It is hard to measure something like “togetherness,” and I didn’t think a scoring system was proper. So I derived a few true/false statements that could help me have confidence we were hitting the mark. We are living according to our values if:
- We have peace at home.
- We are secure in one another’s love.
- We are not in a hurry.
- We are well-practiced in saying no to the nonessential so we can say yes to the essential.
- We establish sustainable rhythms of work and play.
- We challenge one another and know it is safe to take certain risks.
- We make the lives of those around us better through service.
- We honestly evaluate how we are doing and make course corrections as necessary.
- We celebrate small wins and big accomplishments.
I wrote these things down at the start of 2017. We had been in Waco for six months. While most of our values were pretty clear, it was helpful for our family to write them down and to think about what I wanted to pass along to my children as the years passed. The true/false list helped as well, not only when evaluating how we’re doing, but also when making decisions.
Living our values and our priorities begins with our family, which is why “peace at home” is a critical marker for how we are doing. “Peace” involves each person and the entire unit. We have to evaluate how we are doing physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually. And peace begins with me.
One of the questions I ask each week is this: “Is your family happy and thriving? Can you help them in any way?” This requires that I act as a peacemaker. Peace isn’t just the absence of conflict. The Hebrew word for peace is shalom. Peace, in the Jewish and Christian traditions, suggests completeness and wholeness. As God’s agent, I am called navigate conflict peaceably and seek the good and right in all circumstances. That’s not always easy.
If we have peace at home, we’ll be secure in one another’s love. We will know that we are loved. And from that place of security, we can find courage to be the people God has called us to be.
We go through seasons where we are busy. To be busy is acceptable. To be in a hurry is not. We want to be good stewards of the life we have been given by God; we want to use our talents in a manner that is pleasing to God. This relates in obvious ways to the next two evaluative statements. We have to say no to many things so that we can be free to say yes to the best things. We also have to take a wide angle view of life, seeing that there are many seasons we pass through, and therefore we must build in rhythms of work and play. We begin small, week by week. We practice sabbath. When it is time to work, we work hard. When we grow tired, we plan for a break.
My two children are different. Both, in their own way, have moments when they try to play things safe. They need to be nudged, pushed. So does Molly. So do I. Therefore, we encourage one another to take risks from time to time, to do something creative, to open ourselves to the possibility that we will fail. We remind one another that it is safe to fail, for there is no failure that will cancel out the love we share and the love we know that is ours in Christ.
Our faith leads us to value service, and we want the world to be a better place because we passed through. Therefore, we remind one another that we are helpers, and pitch in when we can in ways large and small. We do good works. We are also generous with our resources, including our money.
I apply this principle to myself first. I’m a servant of my wife and my children. I want them to experience joy and success and the good things life has to offer, and I am willing to give of myself in order to increase their chances of growing, thriving, and finding success.
We don’t always get it right. So when we are missing the mark, or when we outright fail, we begin anew. God’s mercies are new each morning. We learn from our mistakes and correct course. We start over, if necessary. For this to work, we have to be honest. An old proverb says, “When the horse is dead, dismount.” If our present course is the wrong one, we face it together, and change direction.
When we do get it right, we celebrate. Whether it is a small victory or or a big win, we party. Celebration is a discipline; joy is something you can grow. I want my children to experience life at home as a place of happiness, encouragement, and fun.
Whether you are a married or single, have a big family or no children at all, you might find it helpful to define your values, to think about how to live a life you intend. Your children may be grown. You may be old. But there is still time left. Live your days well.
Here’s Tyler, Texas native Paul Cauthen in Waco, playing Brazos Nights.
And here is a cool shot of my kids.
2018 is no longer new, but a great deal has happened since the calendar rolled over January 1, bringing a flurry of opportunity. It is time to write about it.
If you’ve seen me at First Methodist or have spoken with me, the following will not be new. But for my own sake and for friends who have wondered, this is the press release, coming your way via the World Wide Web.
First Methodist Waco: Interim Director of College Ministries
First and most significantly, since February I have served as the Interim Director of College Ministries at First Methodist Waco. It has been wonderful to be with students and to be preaching, teaching, and equipping others for life in Christ.
How did this happen? First Methodist has seen significant changes in the past twelve months. Reverend Steve Ramsdell, who was absolutely wonderful and has blessed our family, retired this past summer. Other wonderful members of the church staff stepped away from leadership or found new roles. Reverend Ryan Barnett was appointed as Lead Pastor. Change is challenging, but the church has done well, welcomed new visitors, faced new challenges, and made several wise decisions.
Last fall Reverend Brandon Frenzel shifted from his position as Associate Pastor of Student Ministries, where he worked directly with youth and college students, to a position of greater responsibility. He now oversees all of First’s ministry to families and works with an excellent team of people who coordinate ministry to children, middle school, high school, college students, and their families. Pastor Hayley House, who now works with high school students, previously helped Pastor Brandon in college ministry. These moves happened in succession.
Pastor Brandon and Pastor Hayley continued to work with college students, but because of their changing responsibilities there was a need for an interim person to come and share the load. Brandon spoke to me about the position in early January, and I was glad to help the church.
I’ve been on duty since the beginning of February and it has been a joy to get to know the students and serve them as they grow in faith.
Truett Seminary: Covenant Group Mentor // Spiritual Director
Truett Seminary launched a program for training in spiritual direction last fall, and I have had the privilege of meeting with those students one on one for discipleship, listening, and conversation concerning the spiritual life. Dr. Angela Reed directs the program, and she is absolutely wonderful. I met her students during one of their class sessions last fall. That work has continued this spring.
At the the invitation of Professor Bill Walker I was given a second opportunity to serve the seminary community in January. I now serve as a Covenant Group Mentor. The Covenant Group is an important facet of the seminary’s approach to spiritual formation, or how Christian character is developed.
These groups consist of a small number of seminarians who meet together weekly for prayer, directed conversation, discipleship, the practice of spiritual disciplines, accountability, and for guidance in growing more like Jesus. It is my responsibility to care pastorally for the students, offer wisdom and guidance, keep our sessions on track, and encourage the students as they pursue their education.
The work has been delightful. It is truly one of my favorite things I do each week. It is a privilege to serve in higher education and to serve Baylor.
Central District – Central Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church: Speaker
Another surprise came my way when Reverend Leah Hidde-Gregory, the District Superintendent of the Central District of our Annual Conference, invited me to speak to the United Methodist clergy in our area on the topic of spiritual formation on several occasions this year. As you can imagine, pastoral ministry can be challenging and taxing on the soul. It is my hope that my time with clergy will help them experience renewal for the task of ministry, to be encouraged in their work, and to discover new avenues for growth in their spiritual life so that they might remain strong and steadfast as they do their work “unto the Lord.”
I met with the clergy in January and again in March. In our first meeting we discussed the Wesleyan Class Meeting with help from a resource by Kevin Watson. In our second we prayed the Scriptures and then discussed the Triumphal Entry in preparation for Good Friday. I also presented a few truths I wish someone would have shared with me prior to beginning pastoral ministry on how to abide in Christ, grow in faith, and serve others.
I’m looking forward to the rest of the year. As part of this commitment I have resolved to remember all sixty-six area United Methodist Churches and their pastors in prayer each day. I pray God would bless our region through them.
Coaching Youth Sports
Of all the new gigs I’ve had this spring this one pays the best. They keep doubling my pay, too! This spring I’ve coached youth basketball, soccer, and t-ball. It’s been a blast and a great way to be part of the community.
Wait, Weren’t You Planning to Go Back to School?
That’s right. I was. And up until last fall was still considering it. But after a few conversations and plenty of prayer, I discerned that an advanced degree was not my calling at this time. So I turned the matter over to God in prayer and have experienced peace ever since.
Are You Still Writing?
I am still writing. I continue to contribute to Burlap. I received some kind feedback from congregants at First Mansfield following my work with their congregation on Mark.
I have a couple of other projects that are in the works. There are plenty of possibilities, and among them is a book, an extended treatise on the spiritual life. An idea has been with me for some time. We will see where that leads.
So, What’s Next?
Reading, family, teaching, serving, and playing basketball about once a week.