Receiving Silence and Resting in Prayer

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In his Spiritual Letters, Abbot John Chapman offers this counsel regarding the practice of prayer, away from efforts that are strenuous and exhausting, and toward an experience of prayer that is contemplative, restful, and peaceful.

What does Chapman think is the right way to approach a contemplative experience of prayer?

I think the right way is (1) indirect and (2) negative.

(1) Indirect. Practice prayer, as much as possible, in the quiet way of contemplation: the effect follows of itself, out of prayer.

(2) Negative. Avoid distractions, as far as possible. Cultivate the habit of getting a few instants or a few minutes of peace as often as possible. It is like opening a window to let peace flow in: or, still more, like shutting a door to keep noise out. But you can’t make silence. You can make a noise. But you can only “make” silence by stopping the noise, or stopping your ears. Hence the way to get that “recollection,” which is simply interior peace, is not by any positive effort, but only negative effort;–that is, the cessation of acting or thinking.

Consequently, it ought always to be a relaxation, not an effort. Consequently, it ought never to cause fatigue, or overstrain, or headache.

I think all this is true, and I hope it is clear. Beginners have to meditate, work, tire themselves. But contemplation is rest, peace and refreshment; and its effect is extraordinarily strengthening. Just as the body is after sleep, so the will is after prayer.

The bold emphasis is mine. I say it this way: You can’t make silence. You can only enter it, or receive it. The silence is there waiting for us to cease our noise making and to quiet ourselves. It is something to rest in. When entered, we are invited to notice God, to pay attention, to listen, to “be still” and know that God is God (Psalm 46:10). And if we know God as God is revealed in Jesus Christ, resting in him is an experience of true sabbath (Hebrews 4:1-13).

Silence, received as gift, can be given. How? By keeping it, by refraining from making a noise. Silence, then, can also be shared, and in sharing, there can be another gift: presence. We can be present to ourselves, to the other, and to God.

Chapman writes, “contemplation is rest, peace and refreshment; and its effect is extraordinarily strengthening. Just as the body is after sleep, so the will is after prayer.”

How does silent, contemplative prayer strengthen and refresh us, reinforcing the will? By reminding us of God’s character, beauty, and grace, and by alerting us to our weakness, infirmity, and humble position. We consider anew the grandeur of who we serve, and renew our commitment to glorify God. We also contemplate our lowly estate and need for divine help. The needy ask for help; God will supply it (Psalm 72:12). We are thereby emboldened and humbled, simultaneously, by silently attending to God.

Getting “Unstuck” in Prayer

Have you ever felt stuck when trying to pray?

Do you ever feel distracted, confused, frustrated, or at a loss when attempting to communicate with God?

Have your efforts in prayer felt like failure?

Have you ever said your prayers to God should feel and sound and be some way other than what you are experiencing?

What do you do?

In his Spiritual Letters, Abbot John Chapman writes:

Pray as you can, and do not try to pray as you can’t.

Take yourself as you find yourself, and start from that.

Remember, God sees your desire to pray. And where do you think that desire comes from?

Simple prayers, earnestly spoken, are a wonderful way to begin. And I’m encouraged to know that when I am without words, the Spirit intercedes for me (Romans 8:26-27).

Accept where you are, trust what you have, begin where you can, be grateful for what you have (the Psalms, the Lord’s Prayer, collects and good liturgy, memorized, reliable words given to you by other Christian people), notice your longing for God, and patiently wait on the Lord.

Leaders, Followers, Titles, and Giftings

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Howard Hendricks was one of my professors at Dallas Theological Seminary. He was an absolute master in the classroom, modeling excellence in teaching, care for the student, and the highest caliber of skill in communication. It was a gift to watch him lead. Prof. Hendricks’ son, Bill Hendricks, was interviewed and asked, “How do you define ‘leadership,’ and how did your Dad model that?” He answered:

I always think back to the simplest definition of leadership I’ve heard, which I learned from Dad’s friend Fred Smith, Sr. He said, “Followers—that is what leadership is all about. If people are not following you, you are not a leader. You may have the title, but that’s all.”i I look back at my dad’s life and work, and I see that the man absolutely loved teaching; that’s an understatement, actually. He’d say, “I love to teach; I live to teach. I’d teach whether or not they paid me to teach (but don’t tell the seminary that!).” In pursuing the craft of teaching, Dad learned a lot about leadership. He read all the books, met with leaders, and had conversations about leadership everywhere he went. From that perspective, he was obviously an expert in leadership. But he didn’t aspire to the title of “leader.” He didn’t create an organization, manage employees, or intentionally train a successor. Instead, he was a great communicator who happened to focus on leadership. 

I do not agree that having followers is what leadership is “all about,” though I affirm that leaders have followers. And people will follow those with titles, though not for long if those holding a title neither steward their responsibilities well nor demonstrate a capacity to lead effectively according to their gifts. Titles are placeholders for authority, but not the source. Authority comes from people, from their lives. According to Bill Hendricks, it stems from gifts. I’d say yes, and character.

Hendricks states:

Your leadership is a function of your own giftedness. It’s possible to have the title of leader, but if no one is following you, then you’re not a leader. Conversely, you might not perceive yourself as a leader and might not have the title, but you look behind you and find that people are following. Leadership is not about titles or positions; it’s about your giftedness and the people who follow you. Play to your strengths and surround yourself with people who have the strengths you lack.

Leadership can be learned. Leadership gifts differ. Two things can be true at the same time. Wise leaders understand their gifts and appreciate that their ability to lead effectively has only a little to do with their title. Titles are important only insofar they clarify responsibilities and further the mission.

The best leaders surround themselves with other strong leaders and build an effective team. The purpose of the leadership venture is seen as bigger and more important than the personalities. They are more concerned with leading than they are with labels. They focus on goals. High quality, high character leaders are often more concerned with the work getting done, projects being completed, the right kind of workplace culture, and good and positive ideas being championed than they are with what people call them.

Some of the best leaders are the last to know they are leaders. They are too busy looking ahead. They find out they are leading when they look left and right and see they are gladly accompanied by quality companions. They look back and see others following along, sharing in the work. After that discovery is made, what follows is stewardship, and legacy, which both are part of the challenge of leadership.

October 2023: Tunes

Listen here.

I first heard that Tom T. Hall number on my way through Corsicana, Texas. I could easily turn that narrative into a sermon illustration. I had played through this list on a recent family road trip and was surprised one evening at dinner to hear my son break out in the chorus. Laughed my head off.

Loving Those Closest, Loving Those Far

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Paul will not permit us to compensate for neglecting those nearest us by advertising our compassion for those on another continent. Jesus, it must be remembered, restricted nine-tenths of his ministry to twelve Jews because it was the only way to redeem all Americans. He couldn’t be bothered, said Martin Thornton, with the foreign Canaanites because his work was to save the whole world. The check for the starving child must still be written and the missionary sent, but as an extension of what we are doing at home, not as an exemption from it.

Eugene Peterson, Traveling Light: Galatians and the Free Life in Christ, p. 184

For those in Christ, our loving concern is to be extended to every human being, reaching as far as those whom we are furthest from. But it must not bypass those nearest to us. It must encompass and encounter those in our orbit. It must be given to those we look upon every day, particulary our family, and even our enemies, of whom it has been said are often one and the same. Love begins in the neighborhood, and for householders, in the home.

This is a grand mystery. We are commanded to love. We are commanded to love those in the household of faith. We are commanded to demonstrate love for the world in the same manner Jesus demonstrated his love for us. We are to act in loving concern for those who are suffering, those who are downtrodden, wherever they may be found. We are called to go to the nations. We are sent into the world. We often miss the opportunities that are right in front of our faces, foregoing faithful, straightforward obedience in our immediate circumstances for the pursuit of some grand purpose or glorious cause.

This observation is not meant to condemn. Rather, it is intended to invite reflection and discernment. I have long puzzled over the Christian compulsion to pursue grand ambitions in faraway places to the neglect of fellow citizens sharing the same city or state. And yet, some of these grand efforts have acheived great good, leading to transformation and faith. Work has been done in the name of Christ. Nevertheless, it seems we choose to go around people in order to get to other people whom we believe really need the love of Christ, rather than tending first to the needs of those where we are.

Above, Eugene Peterson resolves the tension by reminding us that ultimately the command to love is fulfilled by way of a both/and rather than an either/or, and that the calling to love in the Christian life is one of integrity. If we extend love to those far away, we had better be faithfullly loving those right here.

I confess I am not as successful in keeping the command to love as well as I would hope. It is not an easy command to keep. In order to demonstrate love for humanity, the Son of God crossed the veil separating heaven from earth. He put off divinity and put on flesh. He left a throne for a manger. He set aside the privileges of deity for poverty. He left the security and stability of God’s throneroom and became a refugee. The Ancient of Days became a baby. He left the position of Creator and took a job as a carpenter. He left home in the Galilean countryside and instead became one who had no place to lay his head. The one who came to us as life and light was plunged into death and darkness. He was propelled to obedience through love, a love for the Father, and a love for us. Jesus put aside a lot, for love.

When I see a love like that, I find a reservoir from which I can draw which is not only a well, but a river of life, which Jesus said springs up in those who embrace him and enter his kingdom. As an eternal spring, its supply is ample for those who are near and for those who are far, both. We cannot exhaust it. It is the love of God.

Resting in the Hands of God’s Care

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Personally, at the beginning of my day–often before arising–I commit my day to the Lord’s care. Usually I do this while meditatively praying through the Lord’s Prayer, and possibly the twenty-third Psalm as well. Then I meet everything that happens as sent or at least permitted by God. I meet it resting in the hands of his care. This helps me to “do all things without grumbling or disputing” (Philippians 2:14), because I have already “placed God in charge” and am trusting him to manage them for my good. I no longer have to manage the weather, planes, and other people.

Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ, p. 70

There are many avenues by which we may choose to walk with God through life. Signposts, however, do help. Dallas Willard reported beginning each day with the discipline of committing all that would unfold “to the Lord’s care.” There is a natural connection to the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23. Both of those prayers declare that God is in charge and that provision and protection are available in God’s kingdom. Willard would mediate, or set his thoughts upon, these passages from Scripture, reminding himself God was worthy of trust and God’s power was available to those who call upon him.

Techniques do not bring us closer to God, but the testimonies of those who have gone before us can be suggestive for how we, too, might walk as companions of Christ. It is God’s grace that makes us holy.

The spiritual disciples are wise ways of seeking God, gifts from God that help us in the seeking. They have proven profitable for others who have longed to know God more fully; God continues to meet people through them. To take up a discipline is an act of faith. The discipline of turning the day over to God, acknowledging human limitations and declaring our trust anew, refocuses our vision, humbles our hearts, and heightens our awareness of the subtleties and, on occasion, the thunderclaps of God’s action. Remember, God raised a man from the dead (among other miracles), and some missed it. Turning the day over to God also allows us to relax. We don’t have to make it happen. God is at work.

A Christian spiritual practice like Willard describes would only take moments to complete each day. But it would make a difference, not only for one day, but maybe for a life.

What commitments do you keep? What actions do you take? How do you seek God routinely each day?