Was Pumped to Find This One

I’ve seen a few Jesus memes down through the years. Came across this one this week, which was brand new to me. Filled me with holy laughter.

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the whey, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
Isaiah 30:21

Stick with Gold Standard. This is the whey.

Now a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the whey of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John.
Acts 18:24-25

Undoubtedly Apollos was also quite buff.

And asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Whey, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.
Acts 9:2

Paul had absolutely no hope of bringing those men and women in bound.

But when some became stubborn and continued in unbelief, speaking evil of the Whey before the congregation, he withdrew from them and took the disciples with him, reasoning daily in the hall of Tyrannus.
Acts 19:9

Paul left those puny naysayers to their own devices.

About that time there arose no little disturbance concerning the Whey.
Acts 19:23

Demetrius, a silversmith in Ephesus, was insanely jealous of the gains being made by the apostles, and thus stirred up a riot against them.

Commit your whey to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
Psalm 37:5

The Lord is my strength and my shield.

They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.”

But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.”
Nehemiah 6:9

Didn’t change that one.

Lord, hear my prayer.

Kinky’s Texas-Style Decalogue

Thou shalt hold no other state or country above Texas.

Thou shalt worship the shape of the Lone Star State and thou shalt make everything in its image, from Texas-shaped pasta to Texas-shaped swimming pools.

Thou shalt have no other sport but football and no other professional team but the Cowboys.

Thou shalt own as many guns as thou dog hast fleas.

Honor thy styling gel, for it shall bring you great big hair.

Thou shalt say the word “Texas” as much as thee can, even when it is redundant to do so. For example, Austin should be said, “Austin, Texas,” even if thee standeth on the Capital steps beneath a sign that says, “Austin, Texas.” Fear not overuse of the word “Texas” for such a thing is not possible.

Thou shalt keep Friday night sacred for that is when thy high school football team playest. Schedule not births, weddings, funerals, or baptisms on this holy day, for Friday nights are reserved to paint thy face in team colors and feast on roasted turkey legs during halftime.

Honor thy dog, for he will be loyal unto thee even when the oil wells dry up and the last beer is consumed.

Thou shalt consume no other carbonated beverage but Dr Pepper.

Thou shalt not covet they neighbor’s mud flaps.

– Kinky Friedman, “If the Ten Commandments were Written by a Texan…”, Texas Hold’em: How I Was Born in a Manger, Died in the Saddle, and Came Back as a Horny Toad, 119-120

I was doing fine until number ten. Then, I was toast.

Taking Out the Trash

If you are familiar with the work of the Old Tesatment Walter Brueggemann this might be funny to you. In a sense, you could say he’s a bit of a garbageman, taking out the theological trash.

Enter Sandman Made Even Better

linn-1435972-unsplash — Photo by LINN on Unsplash

Metallica’s Black Album is an absolute classic, and I have fond memories of my little brother humorously whispering the bridge of “Enter Sandman.” Virginia Tech likes the tune and has for years. Metallica was a go-to source for pregame tracks in the 90s, and I guess they still are considering how often their sound makes its way into hype videos.

There are many covers of “Enter Sandman,” but none as good as the one I heard this week from Iron Horse. Without further ado, let the pickin’ begin.

Football: Know Your Terms

bank-phrom-352283-unsplash — Photo by Bank Phrom on Unsplash

I’ve made another appearance in the Waco Tribune-Herald’s Letters section, this time talking football terminology. Click and read my letter.

The Trib printed this article from the AP, which I read on Saturday. I wrote my letter that afternoon, and it appeared locally in print on Tuesday. Here’s the play, and the term, that came to mind: